Graphics and Poems

  A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

    Officer: May I see your driver's license?
    Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
    Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
    Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
    Officer: The car is stolen?
    Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in
                the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
    Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
    Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns
                this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
    Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
    Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
    Driver: Sure. Here it is. (It was valid.)
    Captain: Who's car is this?
    Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. (The driver owned the car.)
    Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
    Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. (Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.)
    Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
    Driver: No problem. (Trunk is opened; no body.)
    Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't
                   have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was
                   a dead body in the trunk.
    Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying S.O.B told you I was speeding, too.